Diagramatically Speaking

Courtesy of Indexed


Describes my activities all day. Not working is faaaaabulous.

Dancing

I thought this was pretty darn cool.



Where the Hell is Matt? (2008)

New York Love Letter, pt. 1

Since I plan on leaving New York in mid-August for a colder and smaller (and overall sub-par) version of a city for school, I have attempted to create lists of things that I wanted to do before I left.

It is now nearly July and I have checked off nothing. one item.
However, in so doing, I have also realized what it is that I value so much about the city.

I think what one of the things I will miss the most about New York City is the normalcy of it. After having spent my entire adult life in one city, even its oddest characters approach conventionality - from the near naked bum perpetually sleeping in the synagogue portico to the overwrought asshole who pushes you out of the way to pack into the subway car (like really, will 5 minutes kill you?)

Do people in Boston look at you askance if you use verbal niceties? In the stench-ridden bowels of the NYC subway, people are so unused to politesse, that just one 'excuse me' induces nearly everyone to jump out of the way.

Do they expend as much energy into developing innovative insults as to elevate it to an art form? (I can't even tell you what my cab driver yelled to some guy who cut him off, suffice it to say, it was truly marvelous)

Can Boston possibly have more dog poo on their streets? Or hipsters in skinnier jeans? Or more chicks in day glo leggings and chuck taylors? Can it even compare in the juxtaposition of the most disgustingly wealthy (houses replete with glass from Murano and marble from Belize, and a staff larger than the population of Iowa) and the most unwashed of the unwashed masses?(the bum pissing on said house's side stoop)

Do clubs in Boston have overly self-important thugs with clipboards determining with two withering glances whether or not your boyfriend is just a geek or a fabulously wealthy investment banker (thereby determining whether he can enter a dark room which looks exactly the same as every other dark room with a velvet rope in the city)? Can they charge more than $20 for a drink? (Of course they can't, since apparently places in Boston close at 2. 2!! Places here don't even get crowded until 2!! That is so lame.)

New York is so unabashedly unlivable, so terribly rude, so horrifically superficial that it becomes..... delightful. The combination of unpleasant idiosyncrasies that can only be found here is so unique that one will pay a half million dollars for a 200 square foot studio, just to own their own little spot in the dirtiest western city in the world.

Just like I would....

Summer Nights....

I went to see the New York Philharmonic in Central Park today. The 1812 Overture followed by Purple Haze as an encore (I know, I know) followed by fireworks. I love New York City.

It's been over a year

In the past year I have:
- Renovated and moved into my new place
- Turned 26
- Supported Barack Obama and watched him win
- Applied to Business School
- Was accepted to Business School
- Quit my job
- Gone to Mexico, twice
- Developed three gray hairs
- Gone to my college 5th year reunion

So, what's new with you?

Another Debate

Anyone else think there was sexual tension between Obama and Hillary last night? No? Okay, just kidding.

Regardless, I think Edwards' attack was uncalled for, and I hope it doesn't work. I'm not sure about Biden, but man - he did well. Who knew that guy was so clear and "articulate"?

Bush-League Politics

Okay, so Gonzales lied. I mean he lied. He lied about where he was, what he said, and what he did. Pretty clearly. With few apologies.

I'm confused. He lied. To Congress. Multiple times. About political firings of attorney generals. But Bush is backing him against a no-confidence vote? I mean, has he COMPLETELY lost his mind - or is he just afraid of what will be revealed in Gonzo's tell-all book post-firing?

On A TV Show You Didn't Watch

Rosie O Donnell went at it with that blond woman with a stick up her posterior. Entertaining, but also, sort of strange.

In the full clip (linked above - don't watch it unless you have some time on your hands) the quarrel starts out when Joy Behar brings out a lengthy list of the failures of our current president. About 5 minutes into the quibble between Elisabitch and Joy, Rosie chimes in. I'm no fan of Rosie O Donnel, but I mean, the Hasselbeck chick is CRAZY! Like a chihuahua.

What's stranger is how the general media is framing this argument, implying that Rosie O'Donnell was the instigator (she jumps in well after Elizabeth is frothing at the mouth), and that she was bullying "poor innocent Christian Elizabeth"(O'Donnell's words, not mine). I mean, come on people. No one loves her, but really.

Jem!

Ah, how I miss the pink star over the eye days.

And Surprising No One I

The presidential candidates are richer than 99.9999% of you.

Well, most of the major contenders anyway (Duncan Hunter does not, for our purposes - or the purposes of the primaries, count).

Panda was recently talking to me how unfair it was that presidential candidates are judged on the basis of their looks ("Michael Douglas looked like a president on screen, would people vote for him?"- ALERT: Michael Douglas reference 1). Looking at this article, it appears that a more imminent prerequisite to wanting to become Mr. Free World Leader is wealth. I mean, there are a lot more rich folks on that list than pretty ones. Again, surprising no one.

What I think is, perhaps, more interesting, given how expensive presidential campaigns are to run, and looking at the speaking fees even former mayors command, is that the general riffraff we call the media are just that - surprised. I realized this this morning, when on The Today Show, Meredith Viera asked Laura Ingraham if she thought people would find that kind of wealth "hypocritical."

Apparently, the key to winning your nomination, is finding explanations for that $500,000 yacht, and the trust fund for your heirs. John Edwards, recently, played right into that sentiment when he said he only (I'm paraphrasing here) worked at a hedge fund to "understand financial markets."

Right. John Edwards is trying to explain why he took a high-paying job in the four years when he was doing nothing between his presidential runs, but isn't it self-explanatory? To pimp his ride and support Elizabeth's hospital bills. But I mean - "trying to understand how the financial markets work?" You don't see Mitt Romney saying he was at Bain Capital to understand how Gordon Gekko worked.(ALERT: Michael Douglas reference 2)

How fair is this? I'm not sure that I have the liberty of time or knowledge to expound upon the implications of this. I just thought I'd point it out.

I Need Direction

So, I think I may be back to blogging. I mean, look, it's a pain in the butt. For one, my life ain't that interesting folks. I mean, I wake up at 6:30, go to work, come home, and go to sleep. Rinse, Repeat.

Therein, dear readers, lies my problem. Some people blog about their lives, which, for fear of boredom, is out of the question. Indexed is a charming collection of clever/witty/snarky hand drawings on index cards. Also, quite out of the questions. Others like Panda blog about the cool and interesting things that they may or may not be reading. Hmm. This I can do.

Let's try that for now. Maybe I'll find an overwhelming interest, and then we can change the name again.

Quarter Centuries

It is my 11th day of being 25, which officially takes me out of my early twenties and puts me squarely into middle age.

I'm Baaaack...

Okay, want to get yourself mad? Read this guy's blog, hosted by no less a venerable publication as the Wall Street Journal. He can be convincing, if you disregard his penchant for steamrolling over the facts and leaping to fairly illogical (but blindly conservative supporting) conclusions.

http://www.opinionjournal.com/best/?id=110009865

The Apartment Experience... So Far

I've had my offer accepted on a cute little one bedroom on 88th and West End Avenue. I'm such a sucker for the Upper West Side, it's just so beautiful and quiet.

Finding an apartment is a weird process. And while I was lucky to have a knowledgeable agent to guide me through the process, it's still a strange market. And I'm not even close to being done with this home ownership journey.

For one, I have to get approved by the coop board. It's this unique twist on NYC real estate, that not only do apartments in Manhattan cost you a pretty penny, you have to be able to afford twice your apartment's value to buy a coop.

It's a bit silly, really, that I'm sprucing up my finances (and my resume) so my future neighbors will accept me into their little club. But such is life.

If this doesn't work, by the way, I'm springing for a condo.

Apartment!

Yay, I had my offer accepted.

I'm going to blog about the experience, since it's been consuming my free time...

Apartment Hunting

Is a big pain the ass...

More to come.

In News You've Already Heard

Anna Nicole Smith died. The fact that she died has been dominating the news-and-blog cycle since, well, she died.

So, I'll admit, it's a sad story. And I too am curious about the circumstances surrounding her death (although creepy and sadly disturbing facts seem to keep leaking out, which makes me less inclined to want to know more) But I am a little surprised as to the level of interest in the matter.

She's not a huge celebrity, as far as I can tell, her contribution to the world has been a marriage to a rich old guy and a painfully embarrassing reality tv show (and TrimSpa!) She's not of any real political importance. She's not even Paris Hilton - a person who is REALLY famous for being famous.

I wonder if it's this weird aspect of the human nature. Watching a human trainwreck - here's a woman who most definitely had her shit less together than anyone I know. I think the Schadenfreude was responsible for our (somewhat) riveted attention on her during her life, and as she died.

Or maybe the cult of celebrity worship has just gone too far. When Wolf Blitzer segueways from the Pentagon's intelligence on Al-Qaeda to the rumors surrounding a former Playboy Playmate, you could know something is a bit wrong. Other countries have their citizens standing in line for food, to take civil service exams, or even to buy gasoline. Here, we stand in line (and not always peacefully) to buy PlayStation 3s. (which suck anyway)

I Have a Stalker!

Okay, so maybe not exactly a stalker.

I'm not sure if talking about me on his blog, or friendster messaging me 4 times (plus a comment and a friend request) in a 5 hour period counts as stalking. I mean, I guess it could actually be not creepy at all that he googled me and then referenced his findings in aforementioned friendster messages.

See, it's only really even notable when you understand the extent of our acquaintance:
Me: Hello, Welcome! My name is Lee.
Creepyish Guy: Hi my name is XXXXX
Me: Great, drinks are upstairs, feel free to order, and it's nice to meet you.
CG: Blah blah...
Me: (Moving onto someone else) Hello, Welcome!...

I mean, I guess I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Lord knows, I've probably googled you, and rest assured, I don't have the energy to stalk anyone.

It's true, I wouldn't find it creepy if he were a broad-shouldered, attractive successful guy. Because then it would be flattering, and a little bit satisfying in that 'I may have a boyfriend, but I still got it' kind of way, of course.

What's really odd/funny/scary is that there's this person out there. Not because he's giving a lot of thought to someone he's barely met, but rather, that he's bold enough to admit it. I mean, when I webstalk someone (not that I ever have...er...) I go out of my way to never show it. You know, like, "Oh I had no idea you were running for president, Barack, tell me more about yourself" kinda thing.

Anyway, if it sounds like I'm paying unneeded amounts of attention to a rather trivial subject, it's because it's rare that I have anything in common with Gisele Bundchen. It may not be Tom Brady, but it's something.

And, let's be honest, everything I write about is trivial.

In Odd News

I know it's been a while, but I'm a lazy bucket of pudge, I am.

Have you ever sat in the middle of a phonebanking session and had the unsuppressable urge to say inappropriate things to the strangers whose dinner you're interrupting?

Of course not. Because you, unlike me, probably have the good sense to go home to your warm house and welcoming family after a tiring day at work.

And you probably never talk to strangers. Especially during dinner.

It's a crazy thing what politics will do to a girl. Look, only a very few people actually want the job of being tele-marketer. It's thankless, you get hung up on, or worse, are forced to hear about Mr. Bennett's gout, etc. etc. And after one horrific experience, you have to pick up the phone, and just ask for another. Do you ever wonder how many tele-marketers walk up to whatever executive sits closest to their office half way through a terrible day and flick them off?

I hope it's a lot, because I was phone banking. For free! As in, I got paid zero for giving up my evening to call strangers, yes, over dinner. (I did get a couple slices of fairly decent pizza, however) And it either takes a masochistic person, or one with a lot of patience and fortitude (in short- not me).

In the middle of the phone banking session, when I was sitting there listen to Mr. Ardent Republican from Indiana talk about why the Crazy Left is ruining this Great Country with their quest for freedom ("Why can Muslims still wear head-scarves? Why!? How can I be expected to feel safe when little brown girls are allowed to wear head scarves to my son's headstart class?") I responded "*&(@#*$ you and your (*&@#$ (*&@#$ (*&@#$@." He of course immediately recognized that Democrats had the balls to call him out on his *@&^#$, and promised me his vote.

Actually, that didn't happen. But, I've been hung up on too many times to care.

Hillary Clinton is running for president. Okay, so I'm a woman, and I appreciate what it would mean should Clinton win. I'm also willing to say, I think she'd make a fine president - perhaps loosed of the shackles of ruthless ambition, she can actually become who she was when she first came onto the national political scene.

So why do I support Barack in these early campaign days? It's not that I don't think Hillary would win - I just don't think she can inspire. Much like Al Gore found his inspirational voice after his reformation into a green activist, I don't think this is the role that Hillary Clinton can inspire the masses (or even part of the masses) in. Barack Obama, on the other hand, so far appears to shine on the national stage. He seems reasonable, smart, and most importantly a breath of the proverbial fresh air.

Either way, there are some serious heavy hitters in the Democratic field, so this should be a fun 93 weeks.